As you may know, Summer Walker dropped her new album a few months ago named “ Soft Life”. Obviously, we are in times right now where having a “soft life” has been the trend. Many would say the phrase popped up after the pandemic had us having easy lives and out of the hustle and bustle of what communism taught us what living was. The idea of a softer life is beautiful, especially compared to growing up in the hood and experiencing what hunger felt like. Thoughts of my past have me thinking, if having a soft life is the goal, or if a soft life is a code for experiencing our thoughts softly and at a slower pace. I guess the bigger question is, if we can experience a soft life while still living in a chaotic world?

Lately, I have really been taking into consideration what a “soft life” is and what it would mean to me. Not just in the form of dating but also in what I get to give myself every day. I’ve been learning that what I give myself on a daily is what I’m starting to expect from the people I decide to keep in my life. I have been excelling as a single and being intentional in the relationships I keep has been a priority. It seems like in the past, I was just willing to accept anything that people wanted to give to me. They didn’t need to encourage or support me because I was strong enough to do it by myself. At one point in time, I felt as though I was praying and supporting people through their goals while mine were on hold. Then, when I started to really speak about my desires they were ignored or brushed to the side. It seemed as though some people had a hard time lifting me up, when it was absolutely no problem for me to do it. I remember sitting at the table with a friend of mine and their cousins. As the cousins were lifting me up and complimenting me on how I dressed, my “friend” couldn’t help but continuously talk about themself at that moment and completely ignored any compliments that were given to me.

That may seem so petty to you but it’s not a good feeling to be around anyone that doesn’t allow you to have compliments without inserting themselves. That really opened my eyes to how I desired to connect with people. At that moment, I knew I wanted deeper intentional relationships, and I started with myself. I started giving myself everything I desired out of other people and no longer cared what people wanted to give me, I deserved better.

And that’s when I realize what a soft life truly is. It’s just about knowing you deserve better. Without struggle, fuss, or fight. Now, my goal is to live the softest life I can possible. My desire is to always know what I deserve and to only accept that. Leaving behind anything that doesn’t feel good.

What are your thoughts on soft life? Are you living one?