The Process

I was sitting in desk at work just yesterday thinking and I had this thought that wasn’t pleasant. I spend so much of my night and morning preparing for the day ahead of me that I make sure I have no time for negativity. I don’t want anything or anyone to disrupt the bliss I have taken the time to get into. If you are one to know, the strength it takes to remove yourself from places, people, and things that no longer feeds you and to make a choice to feel in love and happy daily then you know the praying, mediating, and the necessary work that’s put in, in order to build that level of focus . And if you don’t know, now you know, it takes a lot!

It’s such a draining yet rewarding process to understand what you need to get to the place of what best suits you. So when this unpleasant thought of doubt and guessing crept up in my matrix , it was quickly unruled and I didn’t allow that to settle around me. I’ve been teaching myself to quickly let go of any thoughts that doesn’t feel well to me. I don’t even remember specifically what the thought was about. That’s how disciplined I have become, I’m eagered to love myself so much that I won’t allow myself to crumble to the pain of my own thoughts any longer! I refuse!!

I will continue to unlease everything that I feel like I was tied and bound to. It’s not worth the pain and problems it creates. You must know you get to happy from happy, so you must get to pain from pain. That’s just the way it goes. The things you feed yourself really does grow in the most wildest ways. I felt that kind of pain too much for a 29 year old woman. I have been more eager to experience what it means to be in or on the high life and I will let y’all judgmental selves run with whatever ideas you choose to. Just know I am happy.

I know that probably sounds aggressive but some times, you have to allow yourself to state facts and let that be that. Why keep chasing after things that doesn’t ultimately feel like what you want. I have grown disgusted with thinking other wise then that but most importantly allowing other people to plant negativity and doubt within me, I’m getting everything I want. And I mean DISGUSTED!! Keep that shit away from me. In times of unpleasantry and doubt, we have to remain present in the process. Focusing our minds on the art of allowing and allowing anything and everything to happen. This process is what I have grown to fall in love with, I don’t want it to be perfect but I know it’s worth it. It’s worth everything, the good, the bad, the uncomfortable, the fight. It’s worth the freedom and peace of mind of simply not giving a fuck. You will get to that point it really does take time to enjoy the process.

I love you. Thanks for reading.