What Do You Need?

Waking up has been phenomenal lately. I wake up early enough to complete my morning task and empty my brain before clocking into my work-from-home job. Even though, I’m very grateful, I have been thinking a lot about increased opportunities, my daily habits, and how they affect my future.

I’ve been realizing my time is very important and where I place my time has to be intentional to support the life I desire to live.

Let’s just say now, my entire life is intentional.

Even this moment, I am currently sitting in the sauna after hitting a lower body, mid day workout at my gym. Yes, I skipped out on my day job to clear my mind and go to the gym. There is so much going on in my life currently and there are a lot of decisions I have to finalize. More then ever, I needed a moment to take a break and I wanted to do that before i had a breakdown. I knew work was not going to be my focus so I decided to step away for a couple of hours. This has now become a ritual of mine. Deciding what I need to be my best self in the moment and taking action so that I don't lose sight of my own expectations of myself and that's to simply enjoy life this one life I get to live at all times.

I’m so grateful that I’m at a place in my life where I can pinpoint my emotions and know how to take action before I fall too deep into depression or negative thoughts. I decided that being at work for a couple hours was not what I wanted to do today. So I did what was most beneficial to me at the moment. The biggest mistakes I have ever made were doing something I didn't want to do in the first place and not listening to myself. That kind of regret will always hunt you.

Understanding and controlling my feelings has been my focus as an adult. As I’ve grown, I’ve realized how I feel every moment of every day is important to living a healthy and abundant life. My own mental struggles were due to my inability to focus on any positivity in my life. I was never raised with positive responsibilities that kept me focus, so acquiring those responsibilities as an adult is extremely difficult. Especially since birth everything felt like it was going wrong. In a world that shows you so much bad, why wouldn’t mental illness or struggles be the leading concern?

Humans are visual. If the world is showing you so much bad, what else are you to assume?

At 31, I am wise enough to understand myself, how I function and what actions benefit me from being in tune with my emotions, body, and mental presence. It is important to me now to make decisions for me! Some may say I’m in my selfish era, truly only concerned about me and what I want. Actually to their point, it's true. I am very selfish and only concerned about the things of me. Proudly, I’m perfectly fine with walking away from anything and everything that does not make me feel how I choose to feel and what I know about myself.

It’s very important that in this life we don’t take anything for granted. It’s so easy to get distracted by things that should’ve never had our attention in the first place. I'm not too sure about you but I've always found myself distracted by things that never benefitted me. Never grew me and didn't want to see me grow. I felt like like I always was influential and lifted others up, but when I needed that same attentiveness it was never reciprocated. Honestly, I did blame people for a while but then I realized I love and care for me enough to pour into myself just as I have assisted others in their dreams and confidents into themselves.

I say that to say, I have officially decided to chase my dreams to becoming a professional writer and working in media. It is extremely exciting because I know what I have to offer but, also I know that I have a lot to learn. I have always had a desire to write and spent years on finding my voice and considering my tone. I have made excuses regarding technology and held on to great writing thoughts because I believed them to be too complex to the average reader. Then I realized, may be my desire to write is not to the average person but it's to the complex thinker who enjoy thoughts deeper then existence because we have a deeper understanding of life, spiritually, and how everything truly happens for a reason.

And that's who this is for, the individuals who are being intentional about what they need and how they want to feel because they understand it's more important then everything. Feeling good is the key to completing your day and extremely loving yourself enough understand what you need when you need it. Whether that's using PTO a few hours to clear your mind or you blocked out six hours of your free time for focus work on your dreams. The key to this life shit, is to really believe that what you desire really desires you and at any point will find you the moment you understand what you need.