Lately, I’ve been maturing and that’s with a capital “M”. I’ve been taking the time to make sure that I’m not taking anything personal. I’ve been looking at things from the other person perspective to make sure this go round is about the healthiest parts of me. With this understanding, I ‘ve been able to let go. No malice, no energy, just let go into space like dust. I love that for me. I appreciate I’m able to just breathe through this life shit. Through the up’s and downs, this life thing is insane and you can never expect what’s coming next.

The thing is you truly never know what is going on outside of your world. That seems selfish but when you are focused isn’t that the purpose? I’m not sure if I’m overthinking or if other people feel the same way, but I feel like I’m failing at getting older. It’s really hard keeping up with my old ways of life. I’m not the best person when it comes to keeping up but it’s really hard keeping up with other people’s lives and socializing when you are trying to build a life of your own. I guess it’s the sacrifice I have to make to see myself further. Well, that’s what I’m telling myself. I pray everything works out according to how it’s supposed to.

I just turned 31 years old and I’m not sure what I am doing, I just know I have to trust the feelings that I’ve been getting from what I am doing. I’m not sure if that makes sense but it’s exactly what I believe it to be. When I decided against depression and anxiety I decided against everthing that made me feel like I can’t be my ultimate self at my purest form. That left me alone in space, and I want to show my magic and that comes with me being me and not forcing me into any situation that didn’t make me feel absolutely comfortable.

Grateful to the souls I get to share space with. But majority of the time I just want to be in space. Do you still love me?

Because I love you so much. Thank you!