…onto 30& up

Lately, I have been feeling the freest I have ever felt. Through my 20’s, I was on this relentless journey to find freedom. I really didn’t know what I was looking for. I wasn’t sure if it was tangible or spiritual. All I knew, was I wanted to feel like I could breathe. It’s like the majority of my 20s was spent trying to catch my breath from running. But have you ever decided that you needed to run to blow off some steam and while you are trying to catch your breath after you are done you start having an asthma attack but didn’t know you had asthma? Severe asthma, at that! Yes, those ’20s hit hard and felt like they would never end.

I have never wanted anything but to enjoy the entrance to my new decade of fresh beginnings. I heard amazing things about the 30’s and I wanted to enter it with a brand new mindset and out of my old toxic ways. At some point, I decided to stop pretending that things were good for me and started being completely honest with myself and how I was feeling. I no longer wanted to be optimistic about where I was going by chance and decided to become more intentional about how I spent my time and energy. I wanted to know what I really wanted out of this life and how I would serve the next person. Reading my work is knowing, I know this life isn’t about me and I want to be able to leave a mark when I am gone.

I really just wanted to get to where I could really enjoy life without feeling ashamed, guilty, and unworthy of simply living. I found out that while feeling this way, a lot of time would pass me by. I no longer wanted to wait, I wanted to go get or at least feel like I was capable. Honestly, I never felt capable of doing anything especially when it came to finishing, the record of my life showed me that. I understood I needed to adopt a winners mindset and release myself from holding on to the things that I physically saw. At some point, I needed to believe in the things that deeply resonated with me and those things are sometimes not tangible. I needed to believe in myself and everything that I am capable of.

I wish I was writing this because I have figured out the key to life. I could’ve researched a ton of motivational speakers that tells us to wake up at 5 AM and have every key to every lesson but their journey is not mine. I’m okay with that! I’m absolutely capable of figuring out what works for me. That’s what this life is about discovering you beyond surface-level shit. Seeking wisdom but not being consumed by other peoples “life lessons” but gaining, navigating, and healing from your own. I truly believe every body has something to learn from the next person. It may not be the lesson you want but it’s the lesson you need in order to elevate beyond yourself.

Onto the 30s, the decade of exuding capability and finishing.

I love you. Thank you for reading.